In honor of Cale Makar on the cover of NHL24 by EA Sports, I thought I’d release a silly blog I wrote after the Colorado Avalanche won the Cup in 2022 that never saw the light of day.

𝘼𝙇𝙇 𝙃𝘼𝙄𝙇 𝘾𝘼𝙇𝙀 👑

Cale Makar graces the cover of NHL 24 🎮 pic.twitter.com/vZKBwu4ISt

— B/R Open Ice (@BR_OpenIce) August 14, 2023

“Their goalie is all about the show.”

Cale Makar thinks Igor is selling that windmill a bit too hard. 😅 (@jessemontano_) pic.twitter.com/Vj2q2AZEa3

— B/R Open Ice (@BR_OpenIce) December 10, 2022

Without further ado, a rather absurd blog I wrote in July of last year:

The Colorado Avalanche are your 2022 Stanley Cup Champions! I’m genuinely happy for them. Quite a few narratives coincide with the third Cup in franchise history. Joe Sakic became the first player and executive to win with the same organization, Jared Bednar is now a winner at all three pro levels, veterans Andrew Cogliano and Jack Johnson (literally Jack Johnson) finally climb the mountain, Nathan MacKinnon gets his first, Gabe Landeskog, Erik Johnson, etc. turn the ship around, and Nazem Kadri silenced his haters. The Avs went 16-4 in the playoffs on their way to the Cup and it was extremely impressive. Maybe it’s a good thing my Rangers fell in the Eastern Conference Finals, because there’s a solid chance this team would have steamrolled them.

Now that I’ve paid homage to the collective, let’s get to the meat, potatoes and kale (had to).

The Conn Smythe presentation after Game 6 in Tampa was so funny to me. Throughout the playoffs, Cale put up video game numbers. 8 goals, 21 assists and a +7 rating. You could know nothing about hockey and point out #8 as someone who’s able to do things on the ice that nobody else can. He’s an unbelievable talent.

After he wins the Conn Smythe, he skated sheepishly over to go get the trophy. Quick cheese for the cameras and he rushed the hardware back to the bench, handed it to an assistant and turned around to embrace the boys. If you went to the bathroom for two minutes you missed the whole ordeal. I’m not even sure he looked at the thing for more than a few seconds. He acted like receiving the Conn Smythe was one of those silly competitions that fans do on the ice during intermission. Where the middle-aged dad is trying not to embarrass himself and look like a idiot in front of a packed arena.

Usually, with the Conn Smythe, you see a rugged, battled-tested dude with a powerful playoff beard lift the trophy, appreciate the moment, maybe even let out a roar. Think Ryan O’Reilly in 2019 with the St. Louis Blues. But nope, in 2022, it’s the 23-year-old gazelle of a defenseman with peach fuzz on his expressionless face, scurrying the hardware off the ice to rejoin the group and get the attention off himself. It was sort of awkward, yet refreshing. It was relatable. It was a beautiful change of pace.

When asked about how to win the Stanley Cup, captain Landeskog paused for a moment and stated “go find yourself a Cale Makar”. It was the first thing out of his mouth to a reporter on the ice, immediately after winning the best trophy in sports. Nothing about his own journey, the team overcoming the odds, the hardship, nada. Go find yourself a Cale Makar he says!

Wayne Gretzky is on record for calling him the best player in the world, bar none. Cale Makar acts like he’s a nobody, when really, he’s a generational talent that’s setting a new bar for the way defenseman play at the highest level. He seems to be just as good of a person as he is a player. Call me crazy, but I want to befriend the dude.  

Later on, Erik Johnson went on the Spittin’ Chiclets podcast (here), and said “Nobody that good, is that nice, that humble. He’s the best defenseman in the world and he looks like he’d be your science tutor buddy. It’s like, who is this guy?”

I imagine Cale was the guy who slaved over the group project until 3am, but told the professors it was a total group effort. Cale was the guy actually filling out the shared PowerPoint deck, while everyone else aimlessly scrolls through lecture notes “looking” for something relevant to contribute. Their eyes all strained on their screens, everyone silent in the room with Cale, all operating under a mutual understanding that he has the team on his back. And then, when the survey comes around to provide feedback for his classmates, he passes them with flying colors and buys them a round at the local bar when he sees them out.

Cale was definitely the kid you used as a bargaining chip to get your mom to agree to a sleepover. You ask to stay the night at Billy’s, but your mom is vehemently opposed. It’s a school night, you have baseball practice afterwards, and you left the kitchen table a mess the night before. Then you pull out the ace in your sleeve. “But moooom, Cale will be there”. This changes everything. Your mother was looking fastball and got beat with a curveball at the knees. She knows Cale, she knows the family. She reconsiders. If Cale is at Billy’s, surely you should be able to go. She reluctantly agrees – she can’t quite articulate it to you, but she knows she can’t fade Cale.

Back to the Stanley Cup ceremony, immediately following the Conn Smythe presentation. This is when I actually started laughing at how classy of a dude Makar is. Everyone knows the order of who gets to lift the Cup and parade it around typically matters. Some players might downplay it and claim it’s random, but the first few handoffs are 100% calculated.

It first went to Landeskog, the Swedish workhorse, the captain, and 2^nd overall draft choice by the organization in 2011. Next was Erik Johnson, a veteran who stuck with the Avs through the dark ages and nearly retired the year prior. No shocks there. To follow was Andrew Cogliano, the beloved journeyman grinder who came over at the deadline. This one surprised me a bit, but it’s not outrageous. Nathan MacKinnon, the engine, heart and soul of the team was next. Jack Johnson followed. Then Nazem Kadri. Burakovsky. Keumper. Rantanen. Helm.

At this point, Cale is hiding in plain sight. I’m yelling at the TV asking where he is. I’m pleading with my Samsung. He just won the Conn Smythe!

Let me say that Andre Burakovsky is an effective player and I remember being impressed with him when he played against the Rangers, as a member of the Washington Capitals. But the causal fan might guess “Burakovsky” is a spell from Harry Potter, before a professional hockey player.

Cale’s defensive partner, Devon Toews, got the Cup next. I’m certain at this point Devon will find Cale and hand Lord Stanley to his buddy. Nope. Valeri Nichushkin was next. Followed by backup goalie Francouz. Backup goalie Pavel Francouz! Only then, did Cale work his way to the front to receive the Cup and get his turn to bask in the glory.

You’d think he’d position himself accordingly and get his turn way, way earlier. He basically let half the team go first, when you could make the case he should’ve been third or fourth. Cale Makar was probably the biggest reason they won and he’s acting like he was a healthy scratch for months on end. It was selfless, it was courteous, it was cool and a true testament to his character.

Cale, next time you’re on Long Island to put the Islanders in a spin cycle, let’s hit a steakhouse after the game. On me. You’ll probably offer to pay but I won’t have it. I’ll get to the waiter before you with my credit card. Might be the first time someone will have ever beat you to “the spot”. I’ll tell you to pick up the tab the next time and our wonderful friendship will be off and running.