Everyone wants to tell you the Metro is a snooze fest. It’s anything but! You have the defending Stanley Cup Champions, a fascinating new look in Washington, and beyond that it’s a bunch of middle of the pack teams who all think they’re better than the other middle of the pack team. There’s always a bone to pick. There will be chaos. Here’s how I see it shaking out:

1. Carolina Hurricanes

Three years running predicting the Hurricanes at the top of this division and I wish I had a more creative answer for you this year. I don’t. The Hurricanes are going to be relentless, suffocating and infuriating to play against. Same as always! The core is locked up on annoyingly good contracts, and you have to believe they’re trying to pry the disgruntled Connor Hellebuyck out of Winnipeg.

Carolina has 104 playoff wins since the franchise relocated from Hartford in 1997. Rod Brind’Amour has been involved in 98% of those games—39 as a player and 63 as head coach. I genuinely thought he’d ride off into the sunset after last season. Go out on top, legacy cemented, thank you and goodnight from Rod the Bod. No sir, he’s back. I wonder if he’ll ever quit the grind. What an absolute legend of the game.

Sebastian Aho quietly becomes more elite (and insufferable) with each passing season and a fully healthy Jaccob Slavin gives this team a dimension most opponents simply can’t match. There’s nothing flashy about what this organization does and that’s exactly the point.

2. Washington Capitals

Alex Tuch and Jordan Kyrou joining this roster is a legitimately scary development. On paper this forward group has everything you’re looking for in a contender. Size, skill, young talent, veteran presence, guys who can change a game in an instant. The organization is pushing the chips to the middle while Alex Ovechkin is still lacing them up and that’s truly admirable.

The Caps actually missed the playoffs last year by only three points despite being a top-10 team in both goals scored and goals against, which makes the bounce-back argument even more compelling.

Spencer Carbery still bothers me in a way I can’t fully articulate. Something about the inflection of his voice and the “know-it-all” vibe. Like the guy in the front row who reminds the teacher to check the homework. But I also can’t stand here and tell you he isn’t a good leader of men at this point, because the evidence suggests otherwise. Consider this my reluctant endorsement. The defense and goaltending will have their low points but this forward group is loaded enough to outscore their problems on most nights.

3. New York Rangers

The page has been turned! Hopefully? Last season’s unmitigated disaster is in the rearview and good riddance to it. The Rangers got healthy, added scoring and depth over the summer headlined by Pavel Dorofeyev, and may have struck gold in the draft with Alberts Šmits. The core is older, but there’s a ton of pride in that dressing room and Igor Shesterkin is still in net.

That said, there are a lot of new faces and with new faces come question marks. Chemistry, line combinations, identity — none of it gets sorted out overnight and the early going could be volatile. Mike Sullivan has been through enough to navigate the turbulence and if the Rangers can find their footing by November, they’ll be alright.

Dorofeyev carries real expectations in this market and fans paying $30 for a Bud Light tallboy at MSG will let you know quickly if you’re not delivering. I’m so curious to see how he handles the spotlight, the media, the pressure and the expectations.

4. New Jersey Devils

Honestly the Devils would be third on this list if they had a pulse in net. Jake Allen and Nico Daws as your goaltending platoon on a team with this much offensive talent is beyond feeble. It’s a gaping hole in the roster and until it gets addressed there’s a ceiling on what this team can accomplish.

Everything else though? The new GM Sunny Mehta is an ex professional poker player of all things but a sharp operator by all accounts and the acquisition of Luke Evangelista from Nashville is Exhibit A. Jack Hughes is going to have a monster year, Timo Meier is due for goals in bunches and on any given night this team is dangerous enough to beat anyone in the division.

Last season was largely lost to injury. If the needle movers can stay on the ice, the Devils will make plenty of noise. The goaltending question is just so hard to ignore.

5. Philadelphia Flyers

Swinging for Leo Carlsson and missing stings, but if nothing else the Flyers have proven they’re not afraid to make moves. They’ll be competitive again this season and play with that Zegras-led personality and swagger that turned heads last year. 43-27-12 was a very solid campaign for this group that may have overachieved.

The issue is consistency. Goaltending and scoring both need to stabilize before Philadelphia can run back that kind of record and right now it does not feel like a sure thing. They can hang with anyone on a given Thursday night. Stringing it together over 84 games is a different animal entirely. Matvei Michkov is still the most electrifying unknown variable in the division and if the light comes on this season at 21 years old, the Flyers become a very different beast.

6. New York Islanders

Losing Anders Lee quietly might be one of the more underappreciated losses of the offseason. You don’t lose your longtime captain, a critical on/off ice contributor and expect to not feel the weight of his departure.

Ilya Sorokin remains an all-world goaltender who will steal games this team has no business winning. I still find it so crazy he’s the godson to Shesterkin’s kid. What are the odds? Schaefer is must-watch television and has totally softened my hatred for the Islanders. They made a couple of nice moves to shore up some holes this offseason, but I’m not overly convinced. Depth and sustained offensive production matter over an 84-game season from October through April, and the Islanders thin out quickly past the top six. Schaefer may look like a million bucks in that disposable camera diner photoshoot with Celebrini and Caufield, but the Islanders are missing playoffs yet again.

7. Pittsburgh Penguins

Last year felt like a flash in the pan and I’m going to stand by that. Dan Muse had everything clicking, guys were turning in career years up and down the lineup and the whole thing had a lightning-in-a-bottle quality to it. With departures and not enough coming back in return, I think the Penguins sink back to where they probably should have been a year ago. Anthony Mantha had 33 goals for crying out loud.

The Crosby trade deadline watch will get loud as the losses accumulate. I’d love to see him get a shot at a Cup somewhere that can actually contend. Montreal would be special. I just don’t think it happens. At some point Kyle Dubas has to fully commit to the rebuild and this might be the year that conversation becomes unavoidable.

8. Columbus Blue Jackets

What exactly is going on in Columbus? They paid Adam Fantilli—eventually, with all the enthusiasm of someone settling a parking ticket. They traded Kirill Marchenko for Matthew Knies, which has promise on paper but feels like rearranging deck chairs. Relations seem to be mended with their 81-point Norris Trophy winner in Werenski, but the whole offseason had an unfocused, noisy quality that doesn’t inspire confidence.

Knies is a big, promising young player and pairing him with Fantilli gives you something to build around. But the depth on both ends of the ice just isn’t there and I’m not sure the culture is either. Rick Bowness speaking his mind freely to the media while playing his roundabout psychological warfare with the roster is a recipe for a lost year that becomes apparent sometime around late November.

I don’t say that with malice. Columbus is doing its best in a tough spot. It just doesn’t look like their best is quite good enough yet.

The Metro doesn’t do boring. It never has. Enjoy the hockey.

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